Self-Love & Relationships

Here’s How You Take Care Of Yourself After A Breakup

Breakups are tough and painful. While it may feel like you’ll never get over it, let me tell you that you definitely will. How do I know? I’ve gone through many difficult, heart-wrenching breakups. I’m talking about, breaking up with the man that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with….twice. The first time it happened my world felt like it ended and I fell into a state of depression. But the second time, because I had made it to the other side of a break up before, my healing process took a lot less time. So, trust me when I say that you will get through this breakup. Here is what I did to take care of myself after my breakups and I hope it helps you too!

Cry. In fact, cry as much as you need to. Those emotions need to come out. Don’t beat yourself up about crying and don’t try to keep it inside you. The longer you do that, the longer you will prolong your healing. Eventually, you will get to a place where you no longer want to cry. 

Spa Days. Treat yourself to a spa day. Either do a DIY spa day at home or go to a spa. Getting a massage, facial or your nails done feels good. Groupon offers tons of discounted spa packages that you can take advantage of. Maybe spa days can become a part of your weekly or monthly routine.

Clean your space for real, for real. Recently, I listened to The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondö. If you haven’t read it, I strongly recommend it, this book is deep! In it, she says

“From the moment you start tidying, you will be compelled to reset your life. As a result, your life will start to change. That’s why the task of putting your house in order should be done quickly. It allows you to confront the issues that are really important. Tidying is just a tool, not the final destination.”

A clean space helps us to then be able to look inwardly and confront the questions that we’ve been ignoring. Like, why did I attract this person in my life? What ways did I contribute to our breakup? Did I ignore any red flags and if so, why?

Spend time with your loved ones. While it’s good to have some alone time during your period of healing, don’t isolate yourself. Spend time with people who can make you laugh or who can remind you of how awesome you really are.

Live your life, whatever that means to you. Plan a solo trip. Try that new restaurant. Go to that music festival. Pursue your goals with reckless abandonment. Just don’t stay stagnant for too long. Make new enjoyable moments because you deserve it!

Try therapy. A therapist can help show you your blind spots when it comes to relationships. Maybe there’s a pattern with all of your exes or some toxic behaviors on your end that you need to work through. Your therapist can also give you personalized tools to help you as you move forward with your life.

Journal. Journaling is a great way to get all of your feelings out and to help you learn, as you reflect, especially if you can’t afford to get a therapist right away. We as vessels aren’t meant to keep everything inside. Keeping everything that you’re feeling inside of you will only lead you to possibly continuing the same dating patterns.

Throw it out! Get rid of everything and I mean every single thing that reminds you of your ex, both digitally and physically. Also, do it quickly, don’t linger and re-read old text messages. Rip the band-aid off immediately.

Last but not least, be patient with yourself. I understand wanting to get over your ex and to feel better immediately. But the truth is it takes time to get to that place and for good reasons. No matter who initiated the break-up, there are important lessons we need to learn and unlearn in order to get to the next chapter of our lives. So do yourself a favor, don’t rush your journey to becoming whole and healed from your break up. The way life works, those lessons will come back around until you “pass the test” so to speak. So you might as well make the most of the journey.

What do you do to take care of yourself during a breakup? Let us know in the comments below!

By Cassandre

Hello! My name is Cassandre. I am a Content Writer and Blogger. I enjoy creating content for millennial women, women of color and moms. My writing journey began in the summer of 2016 when I took a leap of faith and quit my job to pursue my passion for writing. Prior to that, I kept pursuing jobs because I was good at them but I had this gnawing in my Spirit that told me that God had intended so much more for my life. For years, I had been drawn to writing, (started journaling when I was in the fourth grade!) but I didn't think that I was good enough to call myself a Writer. It felt too weighty of a title to bestow upon myself. But since taking that leap of faith, I have learned so much in my valleys and my hills, including the undeniable truth that I am and always will be a Writer. Asides from writing, you can find me curled up reading a good book, dancing to some Zouk or Afrobeat music, or trying some dope food at a restaurant with my son.

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