Women's Health & Wellness

Protecting Your Energy: 5 Ways to Protect Your Energy Effortlessly

I haven’t always been the best at protecting my energy. I have stayed too long in unfruitful relationships, with friends or romantic partners. I have given more than I had to give and allowed myself to be left feeling empty and I have allowed others to deplete my energy completely. I am an empath and highly sensitive person and it’s very easy for me to be affected by the energy of others around me and even easier to feel completely drained after being around different people for long amounts of time. I have had to learn how to protect my energy because if I don’t I can be left feeling depleted. Here are five ways to assist you in protecting your energy.

1. Schedule plenty of alone time

With busy work schedules, morning traffic, a family, side hustles, group chats and everything else that occurs in your day it is very easy to feel pulled in a million and one different directions. Life can be tough and being around tons of people all the time can aid in shifting or taking your energy. By allowing yourself time in your day to simply be alone, you are able to eradicate all of the noise from the day and just be alone with your thoughts, to clear your mind and simply relax. While it may seem like the world needs you, I promise taking a few minutes or hours to yourself a day is not going to stop the world from spinning. 

2. Unplug

Social media can be draining. A simple scroll through your timeline can expose you to so much that you may have not been ready for. It can be draining looking at depressing things that are going on in the world or even the highlight reels of perfection in what seems to be everyone else’s life. There are so many toxic elements in music, tv, and social media that we have become so accustomed to that we almost don’t realize how draining it can be to us until it is too late. Give yourself time each day to simply unplug. No electronics at all. You don’t have to sit in silence you could cook yourself a meal, make tea, stretch, journal, meditate, read from a physical book, just give yourself time to unwind away from the outside world.

3. Say no

If you are a natural pleaser like me, it’s hard to say no sometimes. I hate letting people down and always want to be there for my friends and family, but sometimes you simply cannot be there for everyone and yourself simultaneously. If you have a friend who calls you every other day venting about her boyfriend, a codependent parent or sibling who has a crisis every week or a coworker who is always unloading all of their problems onto you, sometimes you just have to say no. No, you don’t have time to talk about why their boyfriend didn’t take out the trash again and how it makes them feel. No you and your five cats and three bad kids can not come sleep on my couch for 6 months while you figure it out. No I can not do your presentation for you while you gossip on the phone all day at work. Whatever it is that is draining you, taking all of your energy and leaving you feeling empty you have to start taking back your power and saying no to one thing at a time.

4. Leave

 I don’t stay in draining situations anymore. If I know someone I don’t care for will be at an intimate gathering, I don’t go. I leave events when I feel a shift in energy or the people there don’t seem like my type of crowd. I don’t allow myself to stay in friendships that aren’t beneficial to my growth or happiness and I don’t stay at jobs where I don’t feel valued, hate going to everyday and is not getting me closer to my dreams.  

I know you may be thinking, easier said than done, but is it? How hard is it to stop communicating with a person who consistently mistreats and takes advantage of you but calls you a friend? How hard is it to leave a man who always  brings you down and does not love or care for you? How difficult is it to fill out a job application and work somewhere where you are happier or take a leap of faith and try working for yourself? It’s easy to make excuses and complain about the things we don’t like because that is what we are use to.

5. Not matching energy

I know the trendy thing to do these days is matching energy. Meaning if someone is crappy to you, you treat them that way in return. If someone is ignoring you, you ignore them back and so on. I don’t fully agree with that. It actually exerts my own energy to match someone else’s. Instead of me plotting to get back at someone, I could be putting that energy into myself, my writing, my goals. I don’t have time to treat you bad, because that’s how you treated me. I would rather just not deal with you at all. I don’t match energy. I stay vibrating at the highest frequency possibly and simply don’t interact with people who don’t treat me how I like to be treated. I don’t need to play tit for tat when I can simply not deal with them. Once I express to a person how their behavior is affecting me or what they have done wrong in a situation, they can either correct it or not. But if I see they aren’t changing I simply change direction and get them out of my life. By maintaining your energy and simply not interacting with low vibrational negative people you win in the end.

If you’re ever feeling like something is consistently affecting your energy, it’s up to you to simply take a step back and ask yourself, what would make me feel happier in this moment? What can I do to change this situation, it may not be easy at first and will take some getting use to, but once you start putting your personal needs first you will feel a shift in your energy for the better.

As always,

Love & light


By Ashley Renee

Ashley Renee is a soul food enthusiast, sometimes plant based, spoken word poet, who doesn't trust boxed macaroni or cats. To keep up with her head over to her twitter and Instagram @ashleyreneepoet also check out her website.

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