In My Solitude, I began to heal. During a time of sheer desperation, loss, and pain. I temporarily withdrew from everything and everyone. What initially appeared to be a curse, in reality, was a blessing. My loneliness saved me. This “dull” state where I had lost hope was exactly what I needed to help me better myself. Before I knew, being alone was not something that just happened to me, but it was actually something I wanted to do! I wanted to escape into the deepest parts of my mind and figure myself out. I wanted to sort through my thoughts, my ideas, my beliefs, and my desires. I wanted to eliminate habits that were dragging me down and gain a perspective that was more fitting to the woman I wanted to become. Sadly, I could not do that level of self-work and be occupied with anyone but myself. So, I escaped… mentally, for two months and it changed me forever.
Those two months was truly a period in my life where I had to learn how to be completely selfish with my time. Honestly, I think this is something we all struggle with. To be by ourselves in today’s society is nearly impossible. Unfortunately, we live in a world where self-care is not prioritized. Instead, we live in a society that glamorizes a very active social life. We see people constantly doing new things on social media and their lives appear to be all fun and joy.
This idea of living is so tightly ingrained in our culture, that having no plans on a Saturday night is perceived as weird. But, why weird, I wonder? What is weird about being alone? What is so strange about picking up a book on a weekend and just doing you? What is wrong with putting on your favorite music and diving deep in your thoughts. What is weird about staying home and avoiding people for a day or for however long you need to?
“ I’ll let you in on something, it was the end of a seven-year relationship that triggered this in me. Before the breakup, my entire life revolved around him, our son, and us as a family. There was no time allocated for myself, there was no time set aside to catch my breathe and collect my thoughts. I made no time for me to put to use my creativity. I lost myself; it was like parts of me were beginning to die. This is not to blame the relationship or motherhood, that was not the issue. The issue was that I did not feel the need to make time for myself! in that period of my life I didn’t find value in focusing on my life as an individual. It took something so terrible like my break up for me to finally do me! During that time being alone, I read books, I became more spiritual, and I figured how I wanted to proceed with my life. I have a better idea of the life I want to live because I understand myself better. This self-knowledge was only possible by retrieving and distancing myself for a bit. “
So, I am thankful for those moments of solitude, for those days alone, without friends, without plans, without “fun”. I am fortunate to have realized that I need to escape into a world where it was just me. In that mental escape, I allowed myself to grieve, to cry, to be angry, to laugh at myself, and finally accept my reality. In that space, I healed. I truly believe that in a place of silence you too can heal!
When you are ready to take this break for yourself, here are the titles of a few of the books I enjoyed during my break. I want to encourage you to pick up one of these or any book of interest. Regardless of the topic, I truly believe that books are a great way to escape our immediate situation for a bit. They allow us to immerse ourselves deep within a new reality that’s far from our own troubles! For me, reading about Spirituality and Consciousness was very entertaining, but most importantly it helped me gather a fresh perspective on myself. So, I am recommending four books on my topic of choice, but feel free to explore other titles!
1. The Power of Now By: Eckhart Tolle
2. The Celestine Prophecy By: James Redfield
3. The Four Agreements By: Don Miguel Ruiz
4. The Kybalion By: Three Initiates
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