In My Solitude I began to heal. During a time of sheer desperation, loss, and pain. I temporarily withdrew from everything and everyone. What initially appeared to be a curse, in reality, was a blessing. My loneliness saved me. This “dull” state where I had lost hope was exactly what I needed to help me better myself. Before I knew, being alone was not something that just happened to me but it was actually something I wanted to do! I wanted to escape into the deepest parts of my mind and figure myself out. I wanted to sort through my thoughts, my ideas, my beliefs, and my desires. I wanted to eliminate habits that were dragging me down and gain a perspective that was more fitting to the woman I wanted to become. Sadly, I could not do that level of self-work and be with someone. So, I escaped… mentally, for two months and it changed me forever.
Those two months was truly a period in my life where I had to learn how to be completely selfish with my time. Honestly, I think this is something we all struggle with. To be by ourselves in today’s society is nearly impossible. Unfortunately, we live in a world where self-care is not prioritized. Instead, we live in a society that glamorizes a very active social life.
This idea of living is so tightly ingrained in our culture, that having no plans on a Saturday night is perceived as weird. But why weird ? What is weird about being alone? What is so strange about picking up a book on a weekend and just doing you? What is wrong with putting on your favorite music and diving deep in your thoughts. What is weird about staying home and avoiding people for a day or for however long you need to?
“ I’ll let you in on something, it was the end of a seven-year relationship that triggered this in me. Before the breakup my entire life revolved around him, our son, and us as a family. There was no time for myself, there was no time set aside to catch my breathe and collect my thoughts. I made no time for me to use my creativity. I lost myself; it was like parts of me were beginning to die. This is not to blame the relationship or motherhood, that was not the issue. The issue was that I did not feel the need to make time for myself! in that period of my life I didn’t find value in focusing on my life as an individual. It took something so terrible like my break up for me to finally do me! During that time being alone I read books, I became more spiritual, and I figured how I wanted to proceed with my life. I have a better idea of the life I want to live because I understand myself better. This self-knowledge was only possible by retrieving and distancing myself for a bit. “
I am thankful for those moments of solitude, for those days alone, without friends, without plans, without “fun”. In that mental escape, I allowed myself to grieve, to cry, to be angry, to laugh at myself, and finally accept my reality. In that space, I healed. I truly believe that in a place of silence you too can heal!
I also believe that books are a great way to escape our immediate situation for a bit. They allow us to immerse ourselves deep within a new reality that’s far from our own troubles! For me, reading about Spirituality and Consciousness was very entertaining, but most importantly it helped me gather a fresh perspective on myself. So I am recommending four books on my topic of choice, but feel free to explore other titles!
1. The Power of Now By: Eckhart Tolle
2. The Celestine Prophecy By: James Redfield
3. The Four Agreements By: Don Miguel Ruiz
4. The Kybalion By: Three Initiates
Want to contribute to Pour Toi inc? submit work to firstname.lastname@example.org